Sad, but true. I write this post out of love for the Spirit world and love for the developing medium, as we all are, forevermore, once we choose this path.
The Ego is that version of ourselves that is tightly gripping onto the material world- the "matrix", if you will. The Ego is defensive, envious, and easily offended. Ego wants to speak when listening would be beneficial; it would prefer to appear right than to ever dare be seen as incorrect. Ego will place a negative twist on your perception, if you acquiesce, and it will create drama when there is none.
The Ego will also make you forget that you are a learning/developing medium and it will force negative thoughts surrounding your worth or your capabilities if you get a "no" or if you're misunderstanding Spirit (which -NEWSFLASH- happens to everyone and will happen a lot in the beginning of your development and if it doesn't: DO MORE READINGS). Ego will try to stroke your confidence, though, if you slip up or misunderstand. It will create a comfortable "reality" for you to exist in. While this "reality" may be cozy, it will not progress you forward. & If you give in to Ego and its stories, you will start to develop bad habits in your mediumship.
What sort of bad habits...?
Let's proceed!
Bad Habit #1:
The medium will blame the Spirit world for getting information wrong.
I can say with absolute confidence that the medium's interpretation is wrong. Spirit is intelligent. When you, the medium, set the intention to give a reading for a sitter, then whenever the sitter is there, whatever information or impression that comes into your awareness, is 100% for the sitter. Sometimes the communicator's (or loved one in Spirit) story does not resonate with your own experience, so it may be harder to understand the impressions they are trying to convey. The communicator may need to "dance" around a subject in order to get their point across to the medium. The medium will need to practice with Spirit in understanding when this happens.
If you are giving a reading and you get a "no", then something you're saying is not "clicking" with the sitter. One reason: the word you have chosen does not resonate, or "sit well", with the sitter. For example: if I say the Spirit I have was "argumentative" when the sitter actually found the communicator "stubborn", the sitter will tell me, "no." I will have to go back to the communicator and ask if I said the word incorrectly. To which they will give me another impression that I may comprehend better. I have had an instance in a reading where the communicator (or Spirit) started giving me impressions that seemed to have ignored my question, only to realize they were telling me a story--which I relayed to my sitter--and it became clear to me what they were trying to say..to which I then received my "yes". Sometimes, however, if I still do not quite understand, I will take the "no" and "shelf" the impression; it may or may not become clear further into the reading.
The Ego will tell you that "getting it wrong" means that you aren't a good medium; however, it means you're practicing. Unfortunately, we do a lot of our learning through the "no's." Take the hit and explore.
Bad Habit #2
The medium will say the sitter is wrong.
This is a habit that is infuriating. I have watched demonstrations and gallery readings where the medium will tell the sitter that they are incorrect in telling the medium, "no." I accept that even a well developed medium will feel strongly in their impression and will adamantly believe that Spirit is telling them "XYZ", but if the sitter is decisively giving a "no", even after you try to clarify with the communicator, just drop it and move on. Your EGO wants to keep going. Your EGO wants to tell the sitter that they are incorrect.
On the flip side, I could take information, as a sitter, in a demonstration (platform/gallery) reading and, for whatever reason, the medium would not accept that I was the sitter and dismissed me after I gave a "no" to one piece of evidence. I could take everything else, but their Ego would not allow even one thing to be incorrect. No one else could take the evidence and the overall reading was a fail, unfortunately.
*SIDE BAR NOTE* if you are a developing medium and you find me as your sitter, you just hit the jackpot! I enjoy seeing how my Spirit loved ones communicate through mediums and I tend to understand where they are going with the medium.
Bad Habit #3
The medium will pile information on and continuously give details upon details without ever checking in with the sitter that the evidence resonates.
This is a common mistake that I have found within development circles. It is imperative that you continue to check in with the sitter for a couple of reasons:
It is easy, especially in the beginning, to let your imagination run wild as that feeling of when information is Spirit versus your imagination is still under-developed. Checking in will keep you grounded and in line with when Spirit is communicating.
Checking in will strengthen the link between the communicator and yourself as the medium because, as long as you are getting a "yes" and/or "I understand", the sitter is thinking of their loved one, pulling them close--allowing you, as the medium, to pull them closer to you.
I have been a sitter before where a medium began giving evidence after evidence and after the third piece, what he was saying started to make no sense, but they would not stop talking and then eventually I could not remember what they actually got correct, because I was trying to listen to them.
I can appreciate that when you get a "yes", it is easy to be amped as one believes information is flowing and stopping to check in takes your mind from a place of receiving to a place of being active, but this is why you must practice, practice, practice.
Bad Habit #4
The medium will put so much emphasis in a name, but not give evidence to share the essence of Spirit.
Names, addresses...yes, these are cool pieces of evidence, but often times, mediums believe that if they give a name or a simple initial, then their job is done. While this information can sometimes be impressive, it is only notable when the sitter, or audience if in a demonstration, can feel the Spirit in the room. This is accomplished by giving more evidence of their habits, personality, et cetera. While I am all for people having their own style when connecting to Spirit, I have come across mediums that only care about giving initials or names and will spend the majority of the reading looking for the hit. Trust me, it's boring sitting through those...
In conclusion...
Again, I write this post out of love for Spirit and developing mediums. With so many developing mediums on the forefront now, it is important that we want to develop and deliver at the highest standard. Developing with bad habits in tow will keep your mediumship sub par and I get it--no one wants to hear that, but it is the ugly truth.
Keep working at it and you will see results.